


You're All I Need

by ChocolateCapCookie



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: And angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, I dont even know what to tag smh this is pure hurt/comfort, I want Tony to be my husband, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, M/M, Marriage, One Shot, Protective Tony Stark, SHIELD, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Superhusbands, Tony Stark Has A Heart, oh god theres a lot of crying, with a lil bit of anxiety sprinkled in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25783981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocolateCapCookie/pseuds/ChocolateCapCookie
Summary: Tony sunk back into the couch,  unable to suppress a smile. Steve was right here, he was going to get to see his husband for the first time in weeks, all he had to do was wait for JARVIS to say -“Tony?”Steve comes home after a long mission, but his homecoming doesn't go exactly how Tony thought it would
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 8
Kudos: 172





	You're All I Need

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to procrastinate on my 4000-word report that's due tonight lol please make it worth it for me

_ This isn’t what I signed up for,  _ thought Tony sadly as he washed the dishes. Well, to be precise, as he washed the one dish, one spoon, one fork and depressingly one-person-sized takeaway container.

Marriage was supposed to be something you did  _ together.  _ Tony would admit to anyone that he’d never been the ‘settle down and have kids and a dog in a house with a white picket fence’ type, but that had all gone out of the window when he’d met Steve. Or maybe not when they’d first met, exactly (the rest of the team never let them live down their first disastrous conversation on that helicarrier), but the guy had grown on him, a little bit day by day, until somehow, one day five years later, Tony woke up and found himself married to the man he’d hated so much, once upon a time. And he’d never, ever been happier.

Of course, having Captain America as his husband wasn’t all fun and romance; there were bound to be some downsides. Like right now, when Steve was gone on a three-week long mission for Fury, and Tony had nothing (and no-one) to do. He missed his husband so much it almost physically hurt.

He missed Steve’s homemade food after a long day of business meetings, he missed the simple domesticity of washing the dishes  _ together,  _ he missed having someone to cuddle with in bed.  _ This is why marriage is bad,  _ he thought to himself as he stacked the dish and cutlery as angrily as possible,  _ it makes you all soft and gooey.  _ Which was true. He wouldn’t have been like this before Steve.

Tony debated for a moment on whether or not to call Fury, to see if there were any updates available on the mission - he hadn’t spoken to Steve in almost a month and he was getting antsy - but decided against it. In his mood, the last thing he wanted was to engage in verbal tennis with that one-eyed grinch.

He settled down on the couch, ready for another night of falling asleep to Netflix-and-nothing. However, he’d barely gotten through three episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine when he heard JARVIS.

“Sir, Captain Rogers is back.”

Tony sat up excitedly, rubbing his eyes. He wasn’t really sleepy anymore.

“Where is he, J?”

“Captain Rogers and Miss Romanoff are speaking together in the common area.”

“Oh, right.” Tony sank back into the soft pillows. “Probably going over the debrief. Let me know when they’re done, I’ll join him then.”

“Yes, sir,” said JARVIS respectfully, and Tony sunk back into the couch, eyes wide open, unable to suppress a smile. Steve was right  _ here _ , he was going to get to see his husband for the first time in  _ weeks _ , all he had to do was wait for JARVIS to say -

“Tony?”

He shot up again at the sound of Steve’s voice. He stood motionless for a moment, taking in the sight of his husband in full Captain America gear, and he’d barely processed the fact that his husband was  _ right here,  _ he was  _ home,  _ before Steve crossed the room in three giant strides and practically pounced on Tony, kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

“Ooof - Steve, what -” he gasped, pulling away to take a breath, but Steve simply pressed towards him again, his hands cupping Tony’s face roughly, but surprisingly lovingly.

“You’re eager,” commented Tony breathlessly as Steve shifted to mouth at his jawline, “Let me at least wine and dine you first.” Steve finally pulled away, eyeing Tony with a strange kind of intensity, one that Tony had never seen before.

“I love you,” he said, or panted really, staring deep into Tony’s eyes. He was breathless, desperate. “I love you so much. You know that, right? That I love you?” He still hadn’t released his grip on Tony’s body; in fact, his arm only gripped Tony’s waist tighter, clearly signaling where he wanted the night to go.

“I love you too, big guy, but you might want to take a shower first before you start proving it to me,” said Tony, slowly extricating himself from Steve’s clutches. Steve let out a small, pained noise that Tony would almost call a whine, pawing at Tony and trying to kiss him again.

“Babe,” sighed Tony. “Just a shower, okay? And after that, you can ravage me to your heart’s content. I promise.” Steve nodded, but made no move to get away from his husband; pressing hungry, open-mouthed kisses over every part of Tony’s body he could reach. He gripped the side of Tony’s neck almost harshly, and Tony moaned, all thoughts of showers forgotten. He was only human, after all.

“Yeah...Steve, just...keep doing that,” he said breathlessly, as Steve pulled off Tony’s shirt and pounced on him again, his mouth never leaving the soft skin of Tony’s chest, “Holy... _ fuck,  _ Steve,  _ please…” _

Tony placed his hand on Steve’s head, tugging roughly at his soft, messy hair, which only spurred Steve on even further. Tony pulled Steve’s head up to kiss him again, and Steve looked him directly in the eye, frantic and desperate. 

“Hey,” Tony said softly, suddenly afraid of the manic, distressed glint in Steve’s eyes, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” said Steve, but it was automatic, something he said whenever he was asked any variation of the phrase ‘how are you?’. “I’m good, I’m-” he shook his head, his voice suspiciously shaky, “I missed you, Tony.” He buried his head further into Tony’s neck, and from how closely they were pressed together, Tony could feel Steve trembling above him.

“Let me take you to bed,” said Steve again, his body shaking with what seemed like raw, agitated energy, but Tony could tell he was feeling unsettled. He pressed his lips to Tony’s again, but there was no thought behind it; he just seemed to want to have contact with every part of Tony he could reach, “Please, Tony,  _ please _ , just let me…”

“Slow down, big guy,” said Tony again, pulling Steve into a bone-crushing hug. “I don’t know what happened, but this is not what you look like when you want to have sex. And I don’t want to do anything when you’re like this, okay?”

There were a few seconds of strained silence, but Steve nodded. Just like that, he crumpled up into himself, fitting himself in Tony’s arms and taking deep, gasping breaths, clearly trying to stop himself from crying.

“Hey,” said Tony, slowly stroking his husband’s back, completely at a loss for what to say. “Are you…” He stopped himself. Stupid question. Of _course_ Steve wasn’t okay. “Do you want to take a bath?”

“With you?” asked Steve quietly, pressing himself further into Tony’s chest. It was remarkable, really, how a 200-pound supersoldier could fit himself into the small space, looking remarkably like a sad kitten.

“I won’t leave you, I promise,” he assured his husband, his heart almost melting at how desperately Steve wanted to keep in contact with him. Something had gone terribly wrong on this mission, he could tell, and it hurt him to see how much it hurt Steve.

He stood up and beckoned Steve to their bedroom, his hand never leaving his husband’s. Steve followed obediently, attached to Tony’s side like a limpet. Tony whispered to JARVIS to fill up the tub in their en-suite, and then slowly removed Steve’s weathered Captain uniform, pressing soft kisses to his every patch of bare skin possible. With half the bulky uniform off, Tony could see that Steve was trembling, his entire body shaking with an excess of anxious, pent-up energy. Steve gripped the sides of the bed, and his eyes filled with tears again.

“Your bath is ready, Sir,” chimed JARVIS from above them, and Tony gratefully led Steve into the bathroom, and inside the warm, scented water. Steve’s muscles relaxed as soon as they touched liquid, but Steve himself didn’t seem to be doing any better. He wasn’t looking at Tony anymore, trying to avoid all direct eye contact, but what he wanted was obvious. Tony quickly stripped down to his underwear and clambered in, dirty water be damned. If his husband wanted him to join, he’d damn well do it.

Tony’s weight on top of him seemed to relax Steve more than anything else had so far; he buried his head in Tony’s neck and wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist, trying to steady himself. He wasn’t shaking as much, Tony noticed, but he was still quiet,  _ too _ quiet. Tony turned his head to look at Steve, and noticing that he was on the verge of tears again, flipped his entire body around so that he could hug Steve back, Steve’s head buried in his chest. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, certainly, but Steve seemed to find it comforting, so there was no chance he’d move.

“You want to talk about it?” he asked gently, softly massaging the short hairs at the back of Steve’s neck. Steve nodded and opened his mouth to start a sentence, but then closed it again. Tony only hugged him harder.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me anything,” he said, and he believed it too. He was no stranger to wanting to hide things from people close to him, and Steve was pretty much the same. To his surprise, Steve shook his head.

“I want to,” he said, his voice husky from the tears he was holding back, “It’s just…” he sighed, and Tony understood. He didn’t say anything, just continued to rub Steve’s hair like a cat, the way he knew he liked it.

“We were near a school,” said Steve after a few seconds. “The HYDRA base...I don’t know why, but maybe they thought it would be a good cover. The first day, Nat and I went to scout the place and some of the kids, they saw us and they got so excited, Tony. They wanted pictures, they told us they were huge fans and that they’d always wanted to meet the Avengers...one kid just said he wanted to meet someone from America, because he’d never been there.” Steve chuckled wetly, but neither of them found any humor in what he was saying.

“They were all so  _ small _ , Tony. None of them could have been above seven or eight. And they were the sweetest kids I’ve ever met; the next time they saw Nat ‘n me, they offered us their food, all kinds of chocolates and local sweets and things, and they practically begged us to eat ‘em. They were just so  _ happy  _ watching Captain America and the famous Black Widow try to talk through a mouthful of fudge.” Steve gulped, and his eyes filled with a fresh wave of tears. Tony could tell what was coming next, it was pretty obvious.

“You don’t have to tell me, babe,” he said softly, “That must have been hard, you don’t have to go through it again.” Steve just shook his head once more.

“No, Tony,” he said, or gulped rather. “I have to...I have to tell someone…” Tony pressed a kiss to his forehead, and Steve took that as the permission he needed to continue.

“Before we raided the facility, I made sure to let the school know to keep the kids away that day, just in case. They didn’t know it was me, of course, and we said it was because of a potential gas leak, but still, they listened and stayed away. I thought I did everything I could to keep those kids safe. And then...” Steve gulped, but steeled himself to finish. “They were there. I don’t know if they got the message wrong, or if they just didn’t think it was a big enough threat, but...none of them got out, Tony. 40 little kids came to school in the morning and not one of them...not one of them left.”

He let the tears fall freely then, although still trying to hold back sobs, and Tony stayed quiet, stunned. The loss of 40 lives on a mission was bad enough in itself, but 40 children, none of whom were even a decade old? That cracked his arc reactor a little, and he couldn’t imagine how horrible Steve must have felt right then.

“I saw their bodies,” sniffled Steve, “We had to make a quick escape, but they were all lying there, looking like they should have been asleep, except they were covered in blood and half of them were missing a limb.” Tony winced, but didn’t say anything. “I was so close to jumping out of that stupid Quinjet; I probably would’ve if Nat hadn’t held me back. ‘S not fair, Tony. Why did I get to stay alive and not them?”

Steve dissolved into full-body sobs then, pulling away from Tony’s grip to curl into a little ball in the bath, his body shaking like a leaf. Tony was at a loss, both for words and in what to do. In ten years of knowing Steve, he had never seen the man lose control over himself like this.

“You know it wasn’t your fault, right?” he said at length, gently rubbing up and down his husband’s back. Steve tried to pull away, but Tony knew what this was; Steve’s ever-present internal fear that just because he hated himself or something he’d done, everyone else did too. Tony sighed. Why were their lives so  _ complicated?  _ Barton had the right idea, getting away from civilization and living with his family on a farm.

“How was it not my fault, Tony?” demanded Steve, his face blotchy with tears. “I went in. I ordered the kills. I didn’t check to see if there were civilians around. That’s all on me.”

“And Nat,” Tony pointed out, but Steve didn’t seem to be listening.

“Fury yelled at us all the way back. Something about causing an international incident, and how SHIELD had to pay for damages and how we were very close to violating the Accords.  _ How  _ could he be focusing on stupid shit like that when 40 kids are dead, Tony?!”

“That is his job, to be fair,” said Tony jokingly, but the smile slid off his face as he saw how distressed Steve was still. Sighing, he tugged at Steve’s arms, pulling him into a hug, which, surprisingly, Steve let him do.

“You keep telling the rest of us we can’t save everyone,” he said quietly, “Why doesn’t that apply to you too?”

“I’m Captain America,” said Steve tiredly, “It  _ shouldn’t _ apply to me.”

“Yeah, and you’re also Steve Rogers, a human being. Fury tends to forget that sometimes, but that doesn’t make you any less human.” Steve didn’t say anything to that, and Tony kissed his cheek softly, tasting the salty tear tracks that were still very much making their way down Steve’s face and wrinkled his nose. Steve cracked a slight smile at his expression, the first one Tony had seen on him in _ oh god it’s been a whole month _ , and Tony kissed him fiercely, cupping his husband’s head in a way that was almost protective. He pulled away before Steve could even register what was happening and wrapped his arms around him, hugging Steve with all the intensity of a man who hadn’t seen his husband for 25 whole days. Steve shook in Tony’s arms, trying to hold in his sobs, but Tony just hugged him harder, holding their bodies together until Steve had calmed down.

“I’m sorry,” croaked Steve, almost fifteen minutes later. “I know this isn’t what you expected me coming home to be like.”

“All I give a shit about is that you’re here and you’re safe and you aren’t missing any major limbs,” said Tony. “And don’t think this is somehow annoying to me; I love you, and I love spending time with you, and that means helping you out when you have a shit day. That’s not some great sacrifice for me, Steve.” Steve started tearing up again, and Tony kissed him, the couple making out lazily in the now-cold water.

They finished with a quick shower, considering Steve was still filthy from his mission. Tony washed off as well as Steve changed into his night clothes and slipped into bed, his face buried in a pillow. Sighing, Tony slipped into bed beside him, not even bothering to dry off.

“Tomorrow,” he said quietly, reaching his hand over to play with the soft hairs behind Steve’s ear, “I’ll try to contact the families. Anyone who died in the mission, I’ll get J to hunt them down, pay them for their loss...I know it doesn't make up for losing a child or a father, but it can be a start, if you like. You could talk to them yourself, apologize, grovel, beg, whatever you want. Maybe just seeing the kids’ families would help.”

“Yeah, that’d be...that’d be nice. Thank you, Tony,” sighed Steve. “Thank you. For all of this.”

“Don’t even go there, Steve,” said Tony softly, but with enough force in his voice to get Steve to shut up. “You being a human being is not a problem, okay? How many times do I need to say it before you get it through your thick supersoldier skull?”

Steve didn’t say anything to that, simply burying his head deep into the crook of Tony’s neck, trying to maximize the amount of contact he could have with Tony’s body. Tony could feel Steve’s shy smile on his skin, and pulled him closer.  _ This  _ was what marriage was supposed to be like.

And he was pretty damn good at it too.

**Author's Note:**

> Me: I'm not going to base these characters on myself, they'd be terrible people, and probably really unrealistic  
> Also Me: _Gives Steve incredible trauma, makes him cry fifty times in ten minutes, and basically makes him look like an adult toddler ___  
> Me: Yeah, that's not based on myself at all! What a great character that definitely isn't as annoying to readers as I am IRL!
> 
> I'm sorry guys, I haven't really been having the best quarantine. I hope y'all have though, and thanks for reading!


End file.
